Stephanie’s blog

Oceanlab feat. Justine Suissa- Satalite thats what I'm listening to now I guess.

5 months by March 18th and I'm still not over this bullshit. So far, this is how my life has taken a turn..

The Preasent

The Past

And at this point I'm not looking for a realtionship, but thats what I sometimes wouldn't mind having...starting something new. We'll see in the future what happens. For now, its house music and this survey...

If you haven't yet heard that song you should LISTEN TO IT!! I love it. I think I'll do a playlist list thingy on here, cause I've been hearing a lot of good songs lately. 

BRB

I just got my computer back. On Friday I spent 3 hours on the phone with Dell, trying to fix it. By 12 midnight, it was fixed and now I have it back and its working beautifully.  Now that I can listen to music, let me just say that I love the new Circus album by Britney. It's the first time, even though its been out for awhile, that I've heard the soundtracks from it and I think their awesome. I love Britney.

My birthday is in 13 days, I'm excited yet sad I'm turning 20. I still wanted a longer time to live out my teen years as a TEEN. It feels like I've lost them somehow since the age of 16.

Anyways has anyone seen THIS? its so funny I think, but cute. Its a good way to get the public hyped up about him.

I finally got this tattoo I've been wanting for....a really long time. I've wanted one on my lower back since I was sixteen. Three days ago, I got this done. I'm excited. It hurt, in areas close to the spine but I love it and I think it turned out really good....Don't mind the tape around it lol.

My Tatt

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I basically miss listening to music. My computer is in safe mode and its been this way for a long time, and I hate listening to the radio because I'm completely convinced that no station plays enough music, 40 mins? please, thats about, 7 or 8 songs. I shall fix this computer problem soon.
On another note, I'm slowly beginning to choose my career goals and college/ university opportunities. I figure that dance is the best thing for me to do since I've been doing it all my life. I'd really like to explore that field and ever since I recently started to work at a gym, its even more of a reality right now.
Did anyone see the new Underworld movie? I was slightly disappointed. There were only two initial settings, from the castle to the forest, and when they went to the forest, they didn't get too far. I feel like they could have expanded on how far the plot could go (since the topic of vampires and lycans, can range on endlessly in scripted possibility) as well as setting more scenes for the movie, I feel like they just scraped the outside and didnt get into much detail. Anyways, I wont spoil it too much for those that havent seen it, and want to.
My mother is back from Jamaica and for once life seems to be back on track. I also feel that my ex is not such a big part of my day-to-day thoughts, and as time drags on I'm slowly missing him less, and forgetting him more. Unfortunately theres still peices of me thats skeptical as to weather I can ever completely get over and recover from this, considering hes friends with two of my best girls. I guess I'll find out.

ByTheWay; my birthday is in less then a month! Its going to be kick ass!!
And I have to get my tattoo done soon. But more ab out that on the next entry, ill have pictures as well :)

For those who live on their own, I commend you. It's damnn hard trying to go through what im going through and still hold it down on my own. 2009, although I try to be posative isn't looking like a kick ass year so far. These 3 months since this break up have been brutal, its brought out sides of me that I don't even know, anger, acceptance (or forcing myself to) pure rage for not being albe to speak my mind and has got me thinking in intense metaphorical ways pertaining to EVERYTHING that goes on. My previous post is an example and proof that im clearly going out of my mind and it needs to stop lol. My ex, apparently has a girlfriend now, but its so completely juvinille because his "new" girlfriend has a friend that is dating my ex's friend as well. Aww double dates how cute, and both these girls look like their 14 but their probably about 17. Anyway, I dont care if he has a girlfriend but you think you can keep it off going public in my face like ohhh i dont know...FACEBOOK? Like have some dignity please, I mean he didnt even change his goddamn status yet its still says single, and until he changes it refrain from calling him baby and saying how you're so proud of him. Tomorrow, if we were together, it would be our one year. Its hard, yet slightly annoying that this went down the way it did. Because, if I know one thing, Tom and I were pretty awesome together, and truthfully all this went down so that we would be sure of being with each other without missing out on other things when we are single. But, I'm thinking I'm young, and why should it matter, we're too young to get married, and why take it so seriously, why end it BEFORE we begin to have relationship problems and fights, when everything was running smoothly. He failed to be able to be comitted, and told me he needed to take time out. Thats fine, and I do give him credit for TELLING me theres a posability that he would cheat on me if he goes to Greece, not becuase he doesn't love me, but because he does and he doesn't want to hurt me the other way or finding out after it happens. So I understand, and thats why him having a girlfriend (i doubt thats what ti is, cause he hasn't changed his status and ARE YOU KIDDING?! She can't do like me ;) ) it doesnt completly alarm me, I just hope its a quick mess around, and then he moves on. If its an actual relationship then its going to be hectic because im pretty sure two years ago in may when him and i were just friends that he was previously dating this girl, but he dumped her 2 months later. Besides, I was his longest relationship, and just the fact that he went back with her, leaves me to belive that he isnt serious, cause; 1: he was with her before....2: hes dating, her ALREADY?! so soon after 3 months of being "single" and seperated from me? No..I know Tom, so well. Even IF we are done for good, (that in a way if the time ever comes is up to me) I think hes just useing this girl for a number of reasons. To prove to himself that I'm the only one he wants, and to do that he needs to be with another. Probably for his parents to belive his theory more, becuase I knwo his mother was freaking out when she found that him and i were so attatched, besides, shes Greek, and I for one am not. Greeks like to date Greeks, so they can breed more Greeks lol. Also the fact that shes younger then me. Shes at least 17 or 18 and im 19 going to be 20 in a month. Im not that much older but I have more experience. At any rate, I feel sorry for this girl cause I know theres a huge possability that shes getting used. I will however, not tell her anything because it will just sound like im trying to get her away from him. I don't know these situations are just confusing and I prefer to just do without and be on my own with my own thoughts. Not overanalizing everything like im doing now....Unfortunately I have work and I'm going to be late if I want to get there for 2. Yes...it takes me awhile to get there.

I'm back, from a much needed hiatus. Christmas and new years was pretty okay. My parents left a few days ago, on a trip to Jamaica. Not fair. My birthday is in a month and a few days. I need to figure out where I want to go, and what I want to do. I was thinking of going to cancun, however I'm not so sure about going with my friends. I don't nessisarily want to be around couples, especially on my birthday. I suppose I'll have to figure this out soon, however I am strongly considering leaving my friends behind and just going with my mother. Either way it will be fun. But I have to decide soon.

So tomorrow I'm seeing the current love of my life.
I have no idea what to expect, or what is going to become of this whole chilling aspect, since I think it will be just him and I hanging out. Yeah, its a month and 3 days since we've broken up, and this is just the last thing I'd ever expect.

Niagara Falls couldn't have been better. We went up on the Thursday and stayed till the Saturday. It was fun, the first night consisted of us getting purely trashed then going out for ribs. And the second night, (Halloween night) we went to dragonfly nightclub and partied in our costumes. I was some type of ex con, since the corset i ordered from ebay didn't come here until three days AFTER I got back. But no matter, I'm going to blvd room this weekend so, I can wear the corset then.

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